People often believe international business is glamorous. They picture us jet-setting all over the world blissfully ignorant of the rampant diarrhea from bad water and chronic head colds from recycled airplane air.
We make deals during the day, visit the Eiffel Tower at night. Learn different languages. Tra la. Eat exotic food. (Fried goose beak anyone? No? How about some chicken feet? No? Well, pick one because you’ve got to eat something or you’re going to offend your customer.)
With stars in their eyes, complete strangers will often tell me how much they want to work in international business.
My response to this is, “Do you like pain?”
Taken aback they’ll say, “No. What does that have to do with the corporate jet taking me to Rio?”
At this point, I launch into my definition of international business…
International business is like a salmon trying to not just swim upstream, but escape a whirlpool.
It’s being the underdog no one roots for.
No one knows what you need and they don’t care because, internally and externally, it’s not part of their job description or their performance goals. This means vendors take your orders and process them same as their domestic orders, never mind you need heat-treated pallets or country of origin information. It means co-workers put your needs at the bottom of their to-do lists…if they bother to do anything at all.
International business is too often an add-on. It’s an ill-conceived afterthought, and, while some companies manage it better than others, the fact it’s an oopsie-baby shows.
International business is not for the weak. You are constantly trying to buck the inertia of a domestic business paradigm. Plus you get to compensate for process gaps in production, logistics, accounting, and marketing.
Marketing didn’t make bilingual catalogs? Well, lucky you, you get to translate them. Accounting can’t figure out how to balance the international accounts? Guess what you’ll be doing while they’re at lunch? It can be a lot like running your own business, something that takes a lot of energy and drive to do well.
Global Business forces established systems and paradigms to do something new and this is the core problem most International Business people face within their own organizations. It’s like working at McDonald’s and, on your lunch break, you ask the line cook to make a five star meal. This is exactly what you have to do in International Business day in and day out, and with the tenacity of a pit bull too. You ask people to do things they’ve never done before, try to elicit performance when there is no incentive, and you don’t take no for an answer, even if you have to do everything yourself. (Anyone up for carrying fifty pound boxes of promotional materials for Asia down three flights of stairs for the courier pick-up? No? Anybody?)
If that sounds like fun to you, maybe International Business is the field for you. But if you're looking for glamor, take a cruise.